Autumn Decorates My Dream

Personally, I think the most beautiful words used to describe autumn in Chinese are: the evening glow parallels with a lonely duck to fly, the autumn river shares a scenic hue with the vast.

Looking out of the window with my sleepy eyes, it’s still dim outside. The indistinct pine trees on the hills, fallen leaves on the road, and the dense fog filled the air; all of these scenes herald the coming of autumn. It is raining for almost a whole night again. Like the old Chinese saying goes, “one more autumn rain, the chilliness once again.” A trace of coolness surged into my face. Rain drummed the fallen palm leaves as if it was busy waking the sleeping autumn up. I am reminded of the visit to Eagle Lake in such a rainy season and breezy cloudy morning. And in there, I tasted both happiness and toughness of my study and life carefully.

Our life is full of stress. The reason why we are always feeling tired is that we carry the heavy life on the back. However, stress makes our life full of challenges. And I think it is the reason why we live. The way of my studying is full of thorn. Different from American education system, in China, high school is the most important and the busiest time for a student. I was not an excellent student. I have never been ranked in the range of top students, although I worked hard enough in high school. It means I cannot go to good colleges after graduating. In addition, I’m not good at any certain subject. And I have no gift for anything. I’m such a normal person. My family is not rich. I know I need to create my future on my own. I was a computer major in the first year of my college. After one year study, I can see nothing of my future. What I learned are to solve several math problems in exams and to repeat some basic computer theories in the book. I even hate sitting in front of computer too long as a computer major. After deep consideration, I decided to give up learning computer and to change my major into English. However, I did nothing but idle in my second year of college as an English major. I went to classes, learn English vocabularies, and took the examinations. I still had no idea what I would do and what job I preferred in my clouded future. At the end of my second year of college, I heard of there was a study abroad program. To get rid of the current life with no idea, I came to Morehead as an exchange student. I had to say the year of studying in MSU changed my mind a lot. During the year I was in Morehead, I didn’t find my interest, and I still cannot see my future clearly. But I decided to stay here to finish my college study, because at least, my English was improving and I knew clearly what I was doing. And at least, I lived in the moment. However, my study career didn’t change successfully and smoothly after all of these I experienced. I had so much trouble in transferring to Morehead. My transcripts cannot be admitted. My tuition increased because I was not an exchange student anymore. I cannot be an English major anymore because I seem like an idiot in an English speaking country. I had no idea how long my parents could support me to study here. Although I was facing so many realistic problems, I cannot accept going back to the life where I was from. I changed my major again and I came to MSU without my transcripts. Now I’m an international studies major, which is the only possible major for me to stay in MSU. Almost all of my friends don’t understand what my major is about. And I know most students choose my major as minor. Using my own words, I think my major is not a main-steam major. I don’t know what I can do after graduating. I am always comforting myself that I’m learning English. Maybe I could learn English very well one day and be excellence in the certain field. However, I’m not confident enough. I have not seen any gift I represent in English. Like most of English learners, I spend time in remembering vocabularies. I have trouble in speaking. I’m still responding slowly to English speakers. Although I’m here in America, I don’t have too many opportunities to talk with others. I understand how boring for others to communicate with a person who cannot express anything clearly. I cannot pronounce English words correctly. I’m so tired. Everything gets tough around me. I know there’s still a long way to go to make a little difference for me. However, I don’t have any other choice. Giving up and to be an ordinary person or moving on toughly to try to reach the slightly bright future? I am unable to accept the former. Therefore, I have to believe that every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe the tough will be getting going. Life is moving on. Either I conquer the tough, or be defeated by the tough.

Seizing the golden hands of autumn in Eagle Lake, I felt the soft breeze makes me so cool and pleased. It is really a beautiful and natural place. The clear blue sky, the soft pure clouds, and the clean quiet water in the lake, all of these scenes let me feel good. I’m so tired of the tense and busy city life in my hometown, and carried so much heavy burden of moving on in my mind. I was really indulging in such a beautiful and ravishing time here, as if I found the fairyland I had seen in my dream and wanted to stay here to enjoy all the beauties from the hand of nature forever. There are no whistles from cars, no pollution from the industries, and even no hustle and bustle of the city life. At the lake, there are no sounds except the chirp of the countless insects in the bush and the joy of a fish that was playing with the water.

Lying on the lawn, I did enjoy listening to all kinds of the nature sounds quietly as if I heard the earth heartbeat. Seeing a piece of dry and yellow leaf falling down slowly like a soft plume dancing in the air, I realized my dream is on the way. I was always finding a quiet and comfortable place to calm my secular hear down. And I did that in the beautiful season. I smiled to autumn. My smile makes the scenes in autumn more beautiful, and I know she does decorate my dream anyway.

It was still raining. The passersby walked rapidly with the colorful umbrellas. They were not only walking on the road, but also pacing on the course of their life hurriedly. We are growing up. We are looking to the same world. We are learning. We are all striving to make the dreams come true. We are walkers in the rain. Best wishes to everyone who is striving for his or her dream.

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